relationship help – Psychic Andrew

Is it love, or are you just obsessed with someone? There is a word for this called Limerence. There are many clues that can lead you to the truth. Understanding what is going on with your feelings is the first step. If you do not take the time to understand “where you are” first, it will make it impossible to fix anything going forward, you become stuck. If you are not living in the real world today you can’t make your tomorrow better. If you have been living in a fantasy world, or a relationship bubble, that you have created in your mind, then you can not even begin to start making the changes needed in your life for a healthy and loving relationship.

This situation can be hard to extricate yourself from, especially when you do not understand what is happening and what you are really feeling. I am here to help you understand. Please take a moment and read below, and if this sounds like you, then call or chat with me right away so we can get you on the right path, that will allow you to have the right person in your life in a healthy and happy manner.

Below I have listed 10 clues that you may be obsessed with or in a state of limerence for another person. Take a moment and see what clues you can find that match your situation. Knowing the truth is the first step in making things better in your life and your relationships.

1. Even though the relationship between you two is nonexistent, virtual, or downright shallow, you find yourself constantly fantasizing about what your future together would look like no matter what has happened or not happened between you both in the past or present. Even if you have not had much personal contact with this person.

2. You find yourself lost in complex fantasies about this person, from the typical to the extreme. Your fantasies tend to have a “savior” element to them. You even imagine saving your “obsession” from dangerous situations.
Have you asked them Are you alright? Where were you? I was worried about you. Have you said this before? These are some things you might say to if you are in a state of limerence or obsession. Listen to what you say. You can find many clues in that way.

3. You may experience physical symptoms when around your person of interest when you are interacting with them in any way. You might feel anxious, or nervous when you’re waiting for their phone call, text, or any communication or response from them. You might have extreme heart palpitations, shortness of breath when you’re about to call them or when you are around them. Your voice may even change when talking with them from confident to needy, you become a different person.

4. You imagine and manufacture scenarios that will enable you to see or speak with this person. Excuses so you may call them repeatedly or even drive by their dwellings. You find all sorts of reasons talk to them. Whether that means hanging around their general neighborhood or their favorite bar, visiting unannounced, or even stalking them, forcing them, or trying to force them to give you attention or even just to talk to you for a moment. You plan your day, even maybe your week, around how you can spend time with them or might be able to spend time with them. This can range from cute to creepy and stalker-like, so be very careful if you’re doing anything like this..

5. You idealize them and make them into larger than life people, you put them on a pedestal. Everything they do, from the strange to the charming, gets flagged in your mind as evidence that they are an amazing, loveable human being. Even if they were the worst person on the planet, you’d rationalize their bad behavior and terrible, unsocial, or deplorable qualities as “adorable.” and go from speaking poorly of their real actions when you are upset about lack of contact, to speak about them as the greatest person ever, when they give you just a fragment of attention or communication, even a text works sometimes. They cant be both great and the worst. Only in your mind can they be both.

6. You’re excessive in the way you focus on them and everything they’re doing from who they talk too, how their day is going, what they are doing, what they may need, and their reactions to you (or lack thereof). Your whole day tends to revolve around them and interactions with them. This is “need” not love, this is an unhealthy obsession, limerence. This is also not a good look for you either. It is the opposite of attractive to a man. You are hurting any chances with that person when you do not control your actions or reactions. This is key to making things better.

7. You feel a special and overwhelming connection to them, almost like a gravitational pull. You believe they are your soulmate, or twin flame, even if you barely know each other or are rebuffed by your obsessive interest. No matter what, you feel the both of you are meant to be together. This type of limerence or fantasy bubble is holding you back from a healthy relationship.

8. Jealousy can occur even if the relationship is nonexistent or just a friendship. In your mind, you are connected, and things are getting better always. You feel irrationally jealous of potential romantic suitors, friends, or competition for your person of interest, even if it’s imaginary. You are also unable to fantasize about or date anyone else because you feel “bound” Spiritually Connected to them, even if there is no actual, tangible commitment. The huge danger here is jealousy will kill even the
most healthy relationships.

9. When the person withdraws from you or slows or stops contact, you sink into a deep dark feeling of depression and experience an overall sense of hopelessness. You experience mood swings, ranging from powerful highs of great superhuman happiness when you’re around this person, to absolutely unbearable lows, when you feel rejected or ignored by them. This feeling can happen when they are just not around you in some cases. It’s almost as if you were detoxing from a drug. Just like withdrawal symptoms.

10. You look very closely into their words and actions, reliving each word or action, each individual moment to find clues that this person feels the same way about you, as you think you do about them, even if that’s just fantasy and does not even exist. You only see the good, and you dismiss the bad, even if most of it is very bad. These clues that they feel the same about you, or care the same about you, may just be in your mind and are just the issue ar hand.

The issue, in this case, an actual real problem, is that you need to live closer to the reality of the situation and not in the fantasy bubble created and possibly now depending on how long you have been in this place embedded in your mind. This state of limerence is causing, an endless loop or merry-go-round that you just can’t get off of. You want the feeling the fantasy gives you but you know something is not quite right. The reality of the situation is not matching the fantasy of it. You may feel you can’t live without them in your life. You experience an unbearable and overwhelming longing for their affection, attention, and approval. This makes you do things that are just not controllable, and you must always take control of your actions, reactions, and thoughts. I can help you with all of this. That is one of the greatest things in life, the ability for you to make changes within yourself.

If you find that some, or most, of the listed situations above match your situation, then please take a moment and call or chat with me today. Let us start with a good full reading so you know where you are, and where you stand, then we can start fixing the things that will help you take control of your feelings and your life so that you may have happiness and real love in your life that you truly deserve.

Love and Light
Psychic Andrew

THE MYTH ABOUT CALLING YOUR MAN FIRST
Should I call him? We just had a fight what should I do?
Wait for him to call? How long should I wait?

I decided to post this because of the increasing amount of questions on this subject. I want to just say upfront that all situations are unique that’s why people call me, however, this is generally what you should or should not do when it comes to making “First Contact”. Sounds scary right? Not so much though if you just figure out a few things and I thought maybe this post would help you do just that.

I have heard from many of my female clients that they have either heard from friends or other advisors that it is always best to wait for your man to call you, that after a fight, disagreement, or even after a date that you should not call him first. Notice all the different scenarios you could be in, of what to do. This is a myth, so pay close attention. Good stuff here, and all with a male point of view.

Before I begin I want to make it clear that there are many instances when you must go silent. This should not be confused with waiting for him to call. There are times when you can’t call because a man may feel threatened or a man may feel too pressured or overwhelmed by your call, but these times are not what I am talking about.

I’m talking about that theory, that myth, that advice given, so many times, that says he needs to call you, pursue you, make him wait, or that he needs to make the first move. Most of this is about footing, who has the upper hand in the relationship, who bends first. This is ridiculous. This in most cases, not all, but in most, is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Men do not always realize that you have feelings for them despite things you have said or done.

Men are not as smart as you women, remember, think idiots and you would have us down. It is important to build them, us men, up, to reassure them that you do like them and one of the best ways to do this is by calling them. So in that instance call him. Don’t call till your fingers are blue, but it is ok to call the next day and say you had a great time last night, or if you had an argument, well sometimes a man feels a bit worried and will go quiet, and then a nice call or text saying hey you, kisses, or something like that would be perfect.

There are times, however, as I mentioned before, when you may not want to call a man. If he has been giving you the cold shoulder or seems like he is ghosting you, or backing away. In that instance, it is usually better to not chase, but again a quick reading of him first will tell the story. In this situation in general, let him start missing you more. If he is not missing you enough to call, than that a tell. We will get into what I call “Relationship Tells” later in another post.

Sometimes though for long term goals, and putting yourself in a situation where you are noticed more, it is important to not make that call first. Sometimes you must resist that feeling to start a conversation going or at least try to, by calling first, texting, posting or even something small like sending a smiley face in text. You have to know where you are in your relationship, romance or marriage at all times, but when you are in a pinch you can see that there are many reasons that you should call first, I just don’t like hearing that same thing over and over again, as a man, and as I hear from so many male friends, we do like when women call or texts us at certain times, and within a limit.

When your man is purposely not calling you, mainly to see if he can get away with it, and make you call first, then you have to resist the feeling to call. In this situation, it will only hurt any chances you have with him, or worsen a bad situation, but again make a call to me or another great psychic first just to see what’s going on with him. In this case however its usually better not to get caught in this trap. Don’t call first.

Now it is also important to think about things and take a moment before reaching for that phone. You need to think about your man,
women run faster in romance then men do. He might not have the same level of feelings you do, especially if this is new, men are just slower at getting feelings going that’s all. This is where the don’t call him first may come in. Men want what they can’t have so easily. This is where they have to do the chasing, the calling first, and get themselves in the mind frame that is closer to where your mind is when it comes to you and him and romance.

The man will sometimes sit and wait for your call. Sometimes when following the rule of not calling first you destroy any hope of ever speaking with him again. Now I also do realize that sometimes you don’t want to call first because you don’t want to be rejected, or rejected again, or feel that you’re going to get a negative response, and this I can understand but think for a moment if you have not spoken to your man in a few days and it seems as though he is not going to call you, then what in the world do you have to lose by calling him. He is already not with you, he has already gone silent, so what is the worst that can happen, you can put yourself in the same situation your in now, no contact. But and this is the big part of this information, if you do take the plunge and make that call you might and will in many cases be very surprised at the response you get and the truth is you have everything to gain and absolutely nothing to lose. If the man wants you he will walk over hot coals to get to you, but remember men also have to grow their feelings and at their pace. Slow.

Here is the part that I am very compelled to explain. Every situation is different, every reading, every man and woman, and every relationship, so before you decide what to do, I suggest you give me a call or another honest and accurate psychic and maybe even a male or new to you psychic, and ask some questions, being honest about your situation and asking good solid questions so that you know the next move you should make.. if you have been getting the “don’t call him”advise too often say that it is not the right move to wait but I can say for the most part that you need to think very hard about not calling. It is not an automatic thing. You must consult your advisor and ask why shouldn’t I call. You need a third party perspective so that your feelings do not block your normal thought process.

Don’t feel that not making that call first is a standard response. It can hurt your relationship more than help it. If you are unsure of this or what you should do then please take a few moments and call or chat with me. Allow me to give you the male point of view after reading him, and the situation. Yes maybe you should be waiting for him to call, but the truth is most of the time you should not be waiting, not if you want that man that makes your heart scream out, that makes you shake all over. I am also a hopeful romantic and I will always try my best first, to help you get you the man you want.

Love and Light,
PsychicAndrew

Tag: relationship help

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